Our Mission:
To help people live happy, successful lives; to harness their natural power and live to their full potential.
"Desire is the starting point of all achievement, not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire, which transcends everything." ----- Napoleon Hill
DESIRE
A very dear and long time friend, as well as accomplished ThoughtShop graduate, recently invited me to be a guest presenter on the weekly training call she hosts for her team of business associates, and I happily accepted. The topic she wanted me to address was 'Desire'.
She chose this topic because she understands that desire is at the heart of the goal setting and achievement process. She knows from first hand experience that because strong, positive desire provides the self-motivation necessary to take action, stay focused, and persist, even in the face of challenges and setbacks, it leads to amazing personal accomplishments.
As you can imagine, there is more than one definition of the word desire but the one we'll be referring to here is associated with wanting to add something new or different to our life experience, like some meaningful material possession, a certain level of career or financial success, or perhaps international travel.
Yet even this desire has two different aspects, like a two sided coin.
Allow me to explain.
We live in a world of contrasts in which many things have two aspects, one positive and the other negative. I'm sure you could create a lengthy list of such things in a very short time but following are a few simple examples:
· Fire - it can warm a home and cook food, and it can also destroy property and kill.
· Water - it can support life, and also take life.
· Ambition - it can lead to achievement, and also destroy relationships.
· Medicine - it can assist healing, and also cause debilitating side effects or death.
· Religion - it can provide emotional support and spiritual nourishment, and it can also divide families and nations.
Desire, at least from the context of this discussion, also fits into this category.
In its positive form desire grows out of awareness that there is more available to be experienced in life. Accompanying this awareness is a corresponding belief that it is possible to have it.
In its negative form, desire stems from awareness of lack, or not having enough, and is accompanied by a corresponding belief that it is not possible to have it. Needless to say the feelings associated with these two desires are dramatically different.
Positive desire is healthy, and typically accompanied by a sense of gratitude for all that one already has. It is motivating and causes feelings of empowerment, excitement, enthusiasm, optimism and anticipation.
Negative desire is unhealthy, and is typically accompanied by a sense of victim hood. It is de-motivating and elicits feelings of apathy, dejectedness, resentment, and jealousy.
For example, imagine that you were in a successful relationship with your significant other. Things were going along quite well and there were few serious disagreements. You enjoyed each other's company and doing many of the same things, and for the most part you got along very well.
Then you came to know another couple that not only had a warm and comfortable relationship, but also consistently demonstrated an incredible zest for life and enthusiasm for sharing it together.
In such a situation you might think, "Well our life together is pretty good, but look at what it could be. Why don't we apply some of the things we're seeing this other couple do, both with and for each other, and make our relationship even better … how fun would that be? And so is born a new desire.
This desire would fall into the 'positive' category because you're not coming from a place of lack or need, but rather of wanting to add to an already good thing, and it would likely be accompanied by a feeling of motivation to create positive change.
On the other hand, imagine that you were experiencing extreme financial difficulty to the degree that you didn't know how you were going to pay your bills at the end of the month. Then you met someone who appeared to have an abundance of money and not a financial care in the world.
In that situation you might want what that person had, but because you couldn't identify any realistic potential for having it, your 'desire' could fall into the negative category.
Because you saw yourself as being helpless in your situation and without any real hope, a victim of life circumstances so to speak, this desire might be accompanied by feelings of resentment towards that person, and you might feel even more dejected and unmotivated than before.
The form of desire you will experience as you move through life is actually all about the internal place you're coming from, and how you view your situation and possibilities.
Yes, there are certainly times when the negative form of desire can lead to motivation, such as when someone from a poverty background gets frustrated or angry enough to want to create change and so becomes driven to succeed. But with this type of desire as a motivator there is seldom any joy in the process and frequently a significant price to pay in some other life area.
The positive form of desire does not come from a place of desperation or need, but rather of abundance, appreciation and knowing that all is already well. As a result, rather than causing difficulties in some other life area, it uplifts and inspires.
But how can we experience this positive desire when we are not coming from a place of having enough or feeling that all is well? Perhaps all we need do is to consider Ed's story and shift our perspective … so here's a little bit about Ed.
Nearly a year ago my wife Kisch and I moved from Chilliwack into the West End area of Vancouver close to English Bay. We truly love living here but just as desire has its positive and negative aspects, so do most communities. This one is no exception.
Some of the positives of our new neighbourhood are the easy walking distances to Stanley Park, the seawall, beaches, and a myriad of shops, restaurants and cafes. A slightly longer walk (or short cab ride) takes us to the art gallery, museum, symphony, opera, theatres, and an incredible array of live entertainment.
Some of the negatives are traffic congestion, occasional late night street noise, and a visible homeless population. Actually, at least in the case of Ed and a few others I've come to know, it's not 'homeless' but rather 'houseless'.
Ed is about 70 years old, somewhat psychologically challenged, but otherwise intelligent, knowledgeable, and a model citizen. He is a self-proclaimed protector of the local homeless, a defender and caretaker of public and business property, a philosopher, political commentator, entrepreneur, and philanthropist.
His home is a foam mattress with a sleeping bag on the sidewalk under the cover of a store overhang and although his nocturnal location does change from time to time, it's always within a one or two block radius. This is his home.
Local business owners allow him use of their facilities and caring neighbourhood residents frequently provide him with new clothing, food and books … much of which he gives away to those more needy.
In the eyes of many in our society, Ed has nothing. His life situation is just about as low as it could be.
But not in his eyes ... he sees his world and life quite differently. He never begs (although occasionally he leaves his cap beside his mattress while he sleeps), yet always seems to have more than enough to support himself and share with others. He has purpose in life because he considers it his job to help keep the sidewalks swept and hosed clean, and works diligently at that most every day.
My point? Although he personally has less than the worst case scenario most of us will allow ourselves to imagine, I believe that whatever desires he has are of a positive nature.
After spending many hours in conversation with Ed, I see him as not at all coming from a place of lack or need, but rather of abundance, gratitude and appreciation. So if Ed can do this in his situation, you and I should certainly be able to do it in ours, don't you think?
I don't believe it's possible to go through life without noticing things that we would enjoy adding to our experience. This wanting or desire is not something to be embarrassed about or ashamed of, but rather to be celebrated.
Desire, in its positive form, is healthy and natural. It keeps life interesting and exciting and causes us to wake up to each new day with anticipation for what it may bring. With proper nurturing (refer to 'To Your Success', Issue 42) desire can become a strong motivator for taking positive action and making wonderful things happen.
The key to ensuring that all of our desires are of a positive nature is to remain consciously aware that whatever we may want is not needed in order for us to live a happy and successful life. Just as with Ed, everything required for that we already have.
To your success,
Reg Neufeld
"You will become as small as your controlling desire; or as great as your dominant aspiration." ----- James Allen
Just a quick reminder that Kindness Sings, the Eighth Annual World Kindness Concert in Vancouver, is only 2 short weeks away - Nov 17 & 18.
This is a major fundraiser for the Kindness Foundation (previously KindActs) and it supports our children and youth focused kindness programs, so order your tickets online today and come enjoy a magical evening of fantastic music while contributing to the creation of a kinder, safer world.
I will be there both evenings and would love to say hi, so please look me up.
In kindness and with gratitude,
Reg
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE FOR YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can as long as you include the following complete statement:
Reg Neufeld, founder of Growing Into Success Training, is a teacher of life success and achievement principles using practical, step-by-step processes that can help you get from where you are to where you want to be. If you're ready to take control and begin living a truly happy and successful life, get your FREE success tips now at www.growingintosuccess.com
SHARE WITH FRIENDS!...
If you're enjoying this free newsletter you can pass it along by forwarding this issue to a friend who might appreciate it. Should they wish to receive it regularly they can be automatically added to our subscription list simply by emailing newsletter@growingintosuccess.com with their name and 'subscribe' in the subject box.
WE VALUE YOUR FEEDBACK! ... Our intent for this F*R*E*E newsletter is that it be brief, informal and include articles, tips or suggestions to help you achieve the life success you desire ... and for each one to be of real value to you. Also included are dates, times and locations of some of our upcoming programs. (Complete Calendar of Public Venue Events on our website.)
If you have any comments, questions or suggestions we would love to hear from you.
Simply click Reply on your toolbar, jot down your thoughts, and hit send ... or email reg@growingintosuccess.com.
Should you no longer wish to receive 'To Your Success', just hit Reply on your Toolbar ... type UNSUBSCRIBE in the subject box ... and we will take you off the list immediately.
Thank you.
Reg Neufeld
Growing Into Success Training
402 - 1838 Nelson St.
Vancouver, BC
V6G 1N1
604 868 1232
|
