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Issue # 29 | To Your Success | June, 2006 |
"The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can't find them, make them." ----- George Bernard Shaw YOUR DETERMINATION Recently I contemplated a word that many of us use frequently and demonstrate occasionally. The word is 'determination'. It's an important word in that it's often a key component of success in all fields of endeavor, so I decided to check out its definition in a dictionary. Here's what it says, Determination: firmness of purpose, resoluteness. Simple, yes? Simple, and oh so important to successful achievement. Think of the many success stories you've read, heard, or personally witnessed. They may have involved business, sports, or overcoming personal adversity, but isn't it true that in almost every case determination was a factor? And think of how many times you've seen someone (maybe even yourself) fall short of an objective because they just didn't go at it hard enough or hang in there a wee bit longer. So why is it that some seem to have determination in abundance and others don't? Is it hereditary, or could it be a learned skill? And how about you, do you have it? Do you have it some of the time or perhaps in certain areas of your life, but not others? If so, have you ever wondered why? Experience has shown me that the key to determination lies in knowing exactly what you want and why you want it. "Firmness of purpose" comes from this. Some time back I had a conversation with a very nice couple about losing weight and getting in shape. They were 2 or 3 months away from heading off on a winter vacation in a tropical resort and bemoaning the fact that they really wanted to lose 20 or 30 extra pounds they had accumulated. Unfortunately, they couldn't seem to get into more sensible eating habits and a regular exercise plan. They wanted to, they knew it would make a difference, but they just weren't able to do it. I remember asking what their 'Why' was, why they wanted to lose this weight, and their answer was, "to look good in a bathing suit on our vacation." I then asked about their intention for after they returned home and as I recall their answer was, "Well it would be nice to keep the weight off but that's probably not realistic considering our lifestyle." Hmmm, I was beginning to understand the challenge they were facing. Let's see now, 2 or 3 months of sacrificing a comfortable lifestyle and going through the 'pain' that typically accompanies early stages of an exercise program just to look good for one week at a resort, after which the old lifestyle would be resumed and the weight inevitably regained. That seemed to me like a pretty hefty (no pun intended) price to pay for such a fleeting reward. But what if their 'Why' had been different and their commitment longer term? What if their goal was to shed those excess pounds and become more physically fit, not only so they could look better for a week but for many years to come. What if they were also doing it in order to reduce their stress levels and future health risks, to experience increased energy, and to feel physically stronger and better able to engage in active recreational pastimes instead of watching so much television? Wouldn't that make the payoff / price equation more equitable? And what if they were very clear on this objective, and in their minds eyes knew exactly how living that life would look. What if in their imaginations they'd already experienced themselves living that way and could replay that movie at will whenever they needed a shot in the arm? People who demonstrate determination, especially over the long term, know what they want and why they want it. They revisit their reasons regularly in order to stay focused and keep them as part of their conscious thought process. They don't allow themselves to lose sight of the end objective. This points to the conclusion that determination CAN be developed deliberately. If you remember, last month we talked about the possibility of being able to enjoy a high quality of life in each and every life area, of being able to 'have it all' so to speak. Having determination can certainly go a long way toward helping bring that about. So where are you at in your life at this time? Is there some area where you feel less than satisfied because you've held back and not pulled out all the stops? Would you like to change that? If so, a good way to start is to follow this simple 12-Step process for deliberately developing determination. Each step is important so don't take any shortcuts. 1) Write out what you don't like about your current situation. 2) Write out what you'd like changed, or how you would like it to be different. Don't do this casually; take some quiet time and give it plenty of thought. 3) Ask yourself why you want that, and write out your answers. 4) Ask yourself what it would mean to you if you had it, and write out your answers. 5) Ask yourself how it would make you feel if you had it, and write out your answers. (Reviewing your answers to these questions will shed quite a bit of light on what's important to you, and why.) 6) Now ask yourself if having this would be consistent with, A) who you aspire to be as a person, B) your moral and life quality values, and C) how you ultimately, ideally want your life to be. 7) Do your answers point to this being something that's right for you? If so, become as clear as possible on exactly what it is you want and then write it out in present tense form (as though you already have it), using descriptive words that engage all five senses. Become VERY clear on this … it's critically important. 8) Close your eyes and imagine yourself already experiencing it just the way you want it to be. See it, smell it, taste it, touch it, feel it. Be there! 9) Identify what things you can do now to begin creating this change and write these out in your day planner as daily activities. 10) Each day, re-read your objective and re-view your imaginary experience to remind yourself of what you want and why. 11) Do the activities daily as instructed by your day planner. 12) Reward yourself in an appropriate fashion as you make measurable progress. This little process works amazingly well and can be applied to virtually anything. It not only identifies what you want, it also helps clarify why you want it, what it will mean to you, and how you will feel when you have it ... very insightful. Revisiting it daily helps keep it as a conscious thought, which causes it to become increasingly more important to you (the Law of Concentration at work). The more important to you it becomes, the stronger will be your determination to bring it about. So there you have it, a simple 12 Step process for deliberately developing your determination, leading ultimately to successful achievement … and it works. Give it a go, have fun with it, and let me know how it's worked for you. "You've got to get up every morning with determination if you're going to go to bed with satisfaction." ----- George Horace Lorimer STAY TUNED: We're very close to setting dates for 3 public venue workshops to be presented in the Fraser Valley so stay tuned, you'll be hearing about them soon by way of a special announcement email. "The difference between the impossible and the possible lies in a man's determination." ----- Tommy Lasorda To Your Success, Reg Neufeld and the Growing Into Success Training Team Growing Into Success Training SHARE WITH FRIENDS!... If you’re enjoying this free newsletter you can pass it along by simply forwarding this issue to a friend who might appreciate it. Should they wish to receive it regularly they can be automatically added to our subscription list simply by emailing newsletter@growingintosuccess.com with their name and ‘subscribe’ in the subject box. WE VALUE YOUR FEEDBACK! … Our intent for this FREE newsletter is that it be brief, informal and include articles, tips or suggestions to help you achieve the life success you desire … and for each one to be of real value to you. Also included are dates, times and locations of some of our upcoming programs. (Complete Calendar of Public Venue Events on our website.) 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