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How's Your Courage?
Courage! Isn't that a fascinating word? It tends to conjure up visions of knights in shining armor, war heroes, or fearless individuals who carry out death defying rescues. But what is the meaning of this magnificent, larger than life word?
According to the Oxford Encyclopedic English Dictionary, the definition of courage is "the ability to disregard fear; bravery".
So that's what courage means … not being without fear, but rather having the ability to disregard fear, to be brave!
The reality is that we all experience fear at some time or another. Fear of the dark, fear of closed in spaces, fear of heights or spiders or snakes. Fear of change or the unknown.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to actually be able to disregard those fears, to act as though they didn't exist? But wait, you might ask, are fears not healthy? Don't they keep us from such things as falling off cliffs, drowning in deep water or suffering painful burns?
Few would argue that a healthy respect for dangerous situations, combined with a liberal sprinkling of common sense, can keep us from personal harm … but there is another fear, an unhealthy one, that often holds us back from doing what, in our hearts, we know we should or could do, from living to our full potential.
Any time we step out of our comfort zone to attempt something new we are likely to experience this other fear. This fear wants to protect us as well, but from something quite different. It's objective is to keep us from making mistakes, looking bad in the eyes of others, or experiencing the unpleasantness of failing. The sole purpose of this fear is to protect our ego.
Ah, such a fragile thing the ego! But as we look back at those who have gone before, achieved wonderful things, left their marks or made a difference, didn't they all at some point risk, or even suffer, failure? Was it not necessary for them to step beyond their comfort zones and jeopardize their egos? Did they not experience this same fear?
Reading autobiographies of such people suggests they did, yet the important thing is that they developed the ability to disregard it. They took action despite the fear ... they demonstrated courage!
To accomplish most things of value or achieve any objective that stretches us, courage is required. Applying for a job for the first time (or after not having had to for years) takes courage. Speaking in public when not comfortable doing so, takes courage. Making a sales cold call, a career change or starting an exercise program, takes courage. Each of these acts puts us at risk of failing.
Yet each time we take that risk and prevail, we grow as a person and become stronger. The stronger we become, the more capable we are. There is no shortcut in this process, we MUST exercise courage and put ourselves at risk, or be resigned to living an unfulfilled life.
Courage begins with little things. Each time we win one of those seemingly inconsequential life battles we gain strength to tackle one just a little bigger … but each time we allow ourselves to retreat without a fight, we diminish our resolve for the next time.
With that understanding comes an important clue as to how to develop courage … do you see it? Not surprisingly, where it points is to beginning with very small, winnable battles. The smaller the better.
It may be as simple as getting up the first time the alarm goes off instead of hitting the snooze button. It may be looking for an opportunity to speak in front of only two or three people. It may be making just one cold sales call today. The size of the victory isn't important … what is important is picking a battle you can win, for with the winning comes confidence. Then choose one a little larger and win again. Repeat this process and you begin to form a 'winning' habit.
Does this mean that you will always succeed and never fail? No, but failing will be much less of a concern because you will have developed a history of winning, a knowing that you can. You'll find yourself facing your fears head on and boldly stepping out with courage.
This is a process initiated by tiny baby steps, building momentum until it has a power of its own. But it must start somewhere, and that takes courage. So be brave and begin, the results are worth it!
To your success,
Reg Neufeld
Growing Into Success Training
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